Spoons

As a child, and often as an inebriated adult, I have played a card game called Spoons. It's simple. It's fun. It's stupid. Best played in a large group of fun people (or drunk people). Since some of my www.twitter.com friends and I are getting together this summer, I thought a rousing game of Spoons would be a good idea. So, I decided that maybe I should explain how to play it, although it's quite simple. Monkeys at the Detroit Zoo play it.

Anyway...I was looking online, just out of curiosity, to see if there are any rules out there on the net for playing Spoons. There is - but none of them so far are the Spoons I played as a child. Most of them I've found are very complicated! WHY would you want to confuse a small child or inebriated adult? I don't get this. So...here below, you will find MY rules for playing spoons. Very simple rules, that even a young inebriated adult monkey could learn to play.

Spoons

1. It's a card game. So you need a deck of cards, minus the jokers. You also need a few folks, here is where its better to have jokers. I would say for maximum funness you need at least 4 or 5 folks but better with more. If you have 8 or more players, you can use two decks of cards, but then the rules will change slightly.
2. It's a card game, with Spoons. So you need spoons. Not tea spoons, the larger ones. Not a ladle or a large serving spoon, or one of those sharp little grapefruit spoons, but a dessert spoon or soup spoon will do. You need one for each player, minus one. So, if you have 7 players, you will have.......yes that's right, 6 spoons. Very good. (Incidentally, do NOT substitute another utensil for a spoon. No knives or forks - that would just be silly)
3. Place the spoons in the center of the table so that each player can easily reach a spoon.
4. Deal the cards. The dealer shuffles the deck (or decks depending on the number of players) and then deals out 3 cards to each player (4 cards if you are using two decks, see No. 1).  The dealer, then keeps the pile in front of him/her.   The object is to get THREE OF A KIND (4 if you are using two decks). Now, just so there is no confusion, three of a kind is three 3's, three Kings, etc. Three hearts or three spades doesn't cut it. So don't try it, just makes you look stupid and lame. 
5. When each player is ready, the dealer takes the top card off the pile and looks at it (not letting anyone else see it) and then decides if he/she wants that card. If he/she does want it - he then puts it in his hand and discards a card. If he doesn't want it, he discards it. Now, the discarded card then gets passed to the player on his/her right. Who then picks it up, looks, decides, keeps/passes/discards..etc. Passing the cards always to the right.
6. The game should move fast, so the dealer will pick up cards, one at a time quickly, decide and pass it on. It needs to move fast, so everyone gets a chance to see the cards.
7. Once the dealer gets to the bottom of the deck, there should be a pile to his left (if everyone is passing the card to their right when they discard or reject). He then starts taking cards from that pile, and continues on until someone gets.....
8. Now when you get THREE of a kind (FOUR if you are using two decks, FFS read the rules!), you reach up and take a spoon. Once someone has taken a spoon, then the everyone grabs for a spoon! So, if you see someone reaching for a spoon, you need to be quick. If you do NOT get a spoon, sadly...you are a loser and you are out of the game. Go and watch telly. The drunk folks are playing spoons.
9. This continues on until you are down to two players, and one spoon....its very intense now....both players paranoid, watching each other for the slightest twitch or movement. Who will win the title of Spoons Champion!?!?

Anyway...that is Spoons. If you find these rules in anyway complicated, or think this game is stupid. Well....bugger off, yeah? But do leave a comment before you do :)